Adventures of Captain Literal [H, S]

Everyone has their nemesis, their Lex Luthor, their Newman, their Sheriff of Nottingham. One of my alter-egos is Captain Literal who ceaselessly battles against those who bother him. Be it those who abuse and destroy the English language. The "Literal" comes from a combination of accepting something literally, to literature, which ties in the grammar, etc.  (You could also throw in the Liter from the metric system, but we all hate the metric system).

Anyway, Captain Literal  had his latest adventure when Dr. Douche  asked him about what the conditions would be in a parking garage. In Boston. On a Tuesday. At 1:30 PM. Their question was thus - "What are the odds of me getting a parking spot there this afternoon?" Pausing, Captain Literal  weighs the options; should I pretend to understand and give the 'correct' answer, or just swing into action. Seventeen milliseconds later, Captain Literal  replies, "The odds of you getting a space are 50-50."

Later that day, Dr. Douche  reappeared, and said something to the effect that there were no parking spots anywhere. "Of course" Captain Literal  replied " the odds of your getting a space were 50-50, the probability of your finding a space was less than 1 percent."

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