Useless Superpowers [ H, PI ]

- X-ray vision, works through any wrapping paper.
- Able to speak with dogs, only if dogs know Swedish.
- Ability to tell - at a glance - who is ovulating.
- Invulnerability to bullets, but only if shooter believes you are truly invulnerable.
- "Spider sense" that warns of impending freshness date expiration of milk in the 'fridge.
- Stretch-ability to reach dozens of feet in the air, if reaching for a sweater.
- Like a cat, you always land in your feet when you fall; however you also land on your eyes.
- Can tune a TV with your mind, however the sound remains set to the last channel.
- Semi-immunity to any poison consumed. It still kills you, but you know to the exact millisecond the moment of your impending demise.