Texting to my Wife[ FE I ]

Now that my company iPhone has texting turned on again, I can send texts.

Of course I can send them to my wife (while at a Memorial Day Parade) but if she does not read then it is pointless.
[actual text messages below]


Please don't encourage loud people if I'm taping

Thanks again

Please don't tell strangers our son's last name

Don't tell where we live please

Please, louder, the parade is almost here

Please don't talk about son's girlfriend and where she lives

Please don't give girlfriend's name to potential pedophile


- BlogPress iPhone

Solving BP's Delimma [ AN G PI S ]

I'm not going to go into a long rant about BP and the Gulf oil leak, and rehash what others have said; including almost biblical levels of incompetence, and references to their Texas City TX multi-fatality refinery explosion a few years ago. No I won't mention these things.

What I will mention are some ways to contain and possibly stop the oil leak. Note this is written the same week after hearing Robert Kennedy speak at the opening session of a conference, where he railed against any "dirty" fuel (oil/coal) gathering of which this oil leak made great media fodder. But I do understand the need for these fuels, hence the offering of my decades of obscure knowledge and facts that could possibly halt this disaster and prevent similar occurrences.

1) Why not try mercury? We've heard BP tried pumping down some sorts of "proprietary high-density" fluids. Mercury is the densest fluid at the temperatures encountered. I will just about guarantee mercury will at least temporarily staunch the flow, until a more permanent cap can be engaged. What's that - mercury is toxic? I'm not saying spray it over several hectares, I'm saying pump elemental mercury into the wellhead. And so contained, there is minimal chance of sea-based microorganisms turning it into the more toxic methylmercury that finds it's way into out foodchain. Okay Dr.Teller?

2) What about lead shot? We've heard other bizarre schemes tried including "mud" (Was the well in need of a complexion re-do? Was the mud supplier Clinique?) Lead shot if small enough diameter in a slurry would be pumpable/flowable almost like a liquid.

3) Don't like lead or mercury due to toxicity? How about Osmium. Or Antimony? Or Wolfram? (Tungsten to you laymen). Trying any dense metal slurry is better than pulling on your pud while trying to blame dead subcontractors, as BP is.

4) Where's Red Adair's team when you need them? I mean this is different from burning Kuwait oilfields, but these guys are the seminal "pros from Dover." They must have ideas; certainly they ain't cheap, but nothing good ever is. Cost is irrelevant at this juncture; you need to stop the oil leak that has vaulted you into the unenviable position of leapfrogging the Exxon Valdez in terms of horrificness.

5) Why not just use explosives? I estimate a "Bunker Buster" bomb would reach "only" 60-70 MPH before hitting the seabed, burrowing into the bedrock and exploding and sealing the well. I sense a reluctance on BP's part to explore a destructive end to the oil leak, as this means no chance to reactivate the well in the future, recouping some of their costs.

6) What about the Gov'ment? (as my Mom would say). No deep sea submersibles? No wire guided torpedoes or other precision explosives deployment?No replacement for the Navy's NR1? Where's the Alvin or Aluminaut? How about deploying one of those classified atmospheric full body "hard suits" that allegedly can operate at depths of the leak?

7) How about trying cyanoacrylate (Super-Glue to non-scientists)? This glue has one of if not the greatest adhesive tensile strengths known to man. It also reacts catalytically to the presence of moisture to set a mind-numbing rapidity; so it would seal the well quite handily I'd estimate.

8) How about a combined assault, trying a "reactive metal" slurry. Lithium or Potassium metal would react with the surrounding water in a violent way, releasing H2 gas from the water, and igniting said H2; with the heat of the reaction fusing the pipes shut.

9) What about trying hydraulic cement. Note that cement and concrete do not just "dry out" to cure like a water-based glue. They form a hard mortar due to a chemical reaction which takes place regardless of whether they are in the water or not. Pumping hydraulic cement may cap the well.

10) What about trying a chunky organic slurry made from BP executives and 20£ notes? This coarsely-ground paste would react with the water, and the inherent amount of bullshit would generate elevated temperatures like a compost bin, fusing the well shut. Besides, who would it hurt?

- BlogPress iPhone

Location:In air between CO & NC

Off to Mumbai

Mark is having fun with his business trip.

He found out this AM that to American Express a "direct" flight to Mumbai is via Brussels, which until recently was shut down. So we now have a flight via Abu Dhabi that gets in at 3:00 AM Wednesday.

Since we have business in the UK (which is open now) we have to get back to Heathrow on Friday. Of course the return leg of our original flight from UK to Mumbai was voided as we didn't fly from UK; this was because there were no outgoing flights. The carrier doesn't care as they can sell it for more.

Since we HAVE to be back in UK we now leave Mumbai on Friday at 2:00 AM on the only 2 seats - business class via Brussels. The price is obscene.

Posted from my 85% solar iPhone

Super Bowl [ F, PI, S ]

I thought I'd try something different, and add to my blog while watching the SuperBowl.
- Same tired Geico commercial; why not say (à la the movie 'Putney Swope') "you'll save a shitload of money with us!"
- Look who's up for the Walter Payton award: when that player is not beating his wife, he helps underprivileged kids.
- Carrie Underwood changed keys so often I thing F. S. Key was spinning on his grave.
- Nice to see some of the old timers like Jerry Rice & Emmet Smith.
- I assume there's a special place in hell for those who use flash on their camera while sitting in the grandstand.
- The Doritos bark-collar ad was great, made up for that Boost Mobile travesty.
- Nice going Colston; it's not like you catch a ball for a living; oh wait - you do!
- Colts 3 - 0.
- Doritos, the "hands off my momma, and my Doritos" ad - you guys are batting 1,000!
- Colts go ahead 9 - 0; now 10 - 0. Who is winning in the office pool?
- New Orleans gets 3.
- Budweiser "bridge is out" ad - great, and how like our ant brethren.
- Ophah, Leno and Letterman in one ad? What's up with that!
- Casual Friday CareerBuilder ad with no pants; immediately followed by the Dockers ad with no pants, I don't know who put these back-to-back.
- Two beers into the game, we have about 5 minutes left in Q2. So far the best thing has been the pulled pork and guacamole.
- New Orleans is first and goal; let's see...
- "Man's Last Stand" from Dodge was sooooooo true.
- Now 3rd and goal... now 4th and goal... REJECTED. ouch all the way to the 1.
- New Orleans FG 6 - 10.
- Half time analysis and show. Let's see how the Who are doing.
- Listening the half-time analysis make me yearn for the peace and quiet that Marlee Matlin must experience.
- Pinball Wizard, Baba O'Rielly, Who are You (look Gladys, they're playing the CSI theme), We're Not Gonna Take It, Won't Get Fooled Again; Daltrey and Townshend (the last two) sounded and looked really, really great. I am sure some Cortizone and Methamphetamine (at least) helped a bit.
- Q3 here we go, onside kick, PIGPILE!
- New Orleans up 13 - 10
- ooh the game is copyrighted by the NFL, any rebroadcast or reuse is illegal. I'm sure this doesn't count.
- Quite a running pass by Manning, I guess he really earns his money; wait Colts score!
- Text 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti; text 91234 to donate $10 to me!
- Colts now 17 - 16
- For those who don't know, Lamar Hunt, former owner of the Kansas City Chiefs and founding member of the American Football League, coined the name "Super Bowl" after watching his children playing with a Super Ball.
- Colts going 4th and 2 - WOW they made it.
- Emerald nuts + Pop Secret popcorn with dolphin people (a South Park Jewfin?) = awesomely awesome!
- New Orleans scores and now up 22 - 17. Missed 2 point conversion.
- Special review of incomplete conversion, it's GOOD!!!! 7 point game 24 - 17.
- Dennys is offering a free Grand Slam breakfast. Fortunately I enjoy deep-fried rat's eyes.
- The VW TDI "Green Police" ad (soundtrack to the tune of Cheap Trick's "Dream Police") was cute and scary!!
- Tracy Porter from New Orleans 70 yard interception return; game over man, game over. New Orleans 31 - 17
- Ninja Doritos man - yum.
- Colts ALMOST score, penalty.
- And just like that it was over.

eBay (need I saw more) [ G, I, PI ]

The names were shortened to protect the stupid.

This is why eBay can be hit or miss - for every transaction you have some mouth breather who asks things like "will you ship to the Canary Islands" when you plainly state US only, or they buy a used lot of items for pennies on the dollar and are not satisfied unless all items are pristine. Let me tell you about a fun transaction I had recently.

Dear mark
do you combind shipping?
stoned

In retrospect - the initial misspelling in the e-mail should've tipped me off... just as an eBay user name with "stoned" in it should've, and he's not into lapidary either. I was going to point out the obvious E. E. Cummings writing style similarity, but felt not many would notice it.

Dear mark
just recieved the gameboy games all but one didnt work. cubix dont work
stoned

Dear stoned
I would try cleaning the contacts. These games were is storage for years and to the best of my knowledge were working when put away. These are solid state game cartridges and rarely if ever fail. I would try cleaning the contacts and/or see if they work in another GB.

Dear mark
got these games also 2 worked 2 didnt. matt hoffman's pro bmx and lego alpha team dont work i tryed the games in a game boy color.please message back
stoned

Dear mark
I DID WHAT YOU SAYED AND WENT TO THE SIGHT AND CLEANED IT LIKE THEY EXPLAINED AND STILL NOTHING I EVEN TRYED THEM ON OTHER GAME BRO COLORS AND STILL NOTHING
stoned

(don't have to SHOUT!)

Dear stoned
Please return the defective games and I will refund the $1.13 via PayPal.
mark

Note this is how the math works out; I have no idea if this is just some scammer who wanted some free games, although in hindsight my bad for not just eating the $1.13, so imagine my shock when I saw not one but TWO negative marks on eBay saying (so eloquently)

"not all games worked said send it back i had to pay shipping aint worth it."
(again, so like E. E. Cummings).

I wrote one last time, just to try and explain how the real world works:

Dear stoned
When someone makes an attempt to refund 100% of the price you paid for a defective item - which as noted was not known at the time of sale - proper eBay etiquette is to either accept the refund or just "man up" and acknowledge that when buying used things, sometime onesies or twosies won't work - hence the name "buying used" as opposed to buying new. At the very least mark feedback as "neutral". I find it staggering that I graciously offered you 100% of the refund due (above and beyond what is due). At least I get a good story for my Blog about the people I have to deal with on a daily basis. Please do not respond; doing so gives me approval to publish said reply, for all to ridicule.

Which leads me here. Ten years on eBay, 100% perfect record, shot to hell.

Same Sex Marriage [ G, GY, RR ]

(The following is a letter to my church on the topic of same-sex marriage)

Whether we can all ever agree on the topic or not, one thing we can probably agree on is - as Bob Dylan said - the times they are a-changin'. Now for those who attended the discussion know, I do not necessarily support gay marriage, but it is the law in CT. It wasn't when our Minister was ordained, but it is now. So one question is do we let a personal belief or view stand in the way of a law? I am sure some member's parents or grandparents could've remembered the day when Orientals and Coloreds were first given the right to not only attend all-White churches, but even to take communion and get married.

And maybe not our parent's parents: Martin Luther King wrote "In the midst of blatant injustices inflicted upon the Negro, I have watched White churches stand on the sideline and merely mouth pious irrelevancies," He wrote this from jail in 1963. Not 1863, 1963. So whether or not you agree, certainly the view in the 21st century is gay rights are civil rights. It does beg the questions about polygamy, as Utah had to outlaw this before becoming a state, but I digress...

One of the wonderful things about America in general and certainly our church family as a whole is we can agree to disagree. I certainly do not agree 100% with anything my family, church, workplace or government does, but I "suck it up." I may complain but I do not leave my family, church, workplace or country. I do it for two reasons; the first being there is nothing that we will all agree 100% on, once that happens you have devolved to a hive mind, like a termite mound. That is the very nature of the human condition, to question, discuss, debate.

I also realize there are much, much, much bigger issues that we should not be distracted from; as an example in typing this paragraph our national deficit went up by about $5.6 million. What jobs will be left in the US in 5 years? In a thousand years or so global cooling will consume Chicago under glaciers. Of course there will be people who leave any organization, and like the ebb and flow of the tides it is inevitable. And I know we have lost – and gained – members over various things that our church offers. For example, people with children really like our child-friendly atmosphere, while I do know people no longer attend as there are too many "noisy kids." I was personally waiting for the many Hollywood stars to leave the US when Bush was re-elected, but I guess even they "sucked it up."

I would also add that I do not want our church to become sensationalized, with a line of couples out the door awaiting same-sex marriage. It would make sense to say the couple would have to be a member of our congregation to have a service in our church.

And as far as welcoming any new member, whether it be gay, straight, Polish, old, tall, Black, fat, bald, Asian, blonde, Irish, etc., I'd love to tell you a story. I was in New Orleans (pre-Katrina) years ago at a conference, and decided to go to a local church service. I so this sometime, which may surprise my wife (but isn't that our goal, guys?). Anyway, I do not remember the name of the church, or frankly if it still exists, but when I opened the door to go in, the only white things in the church were my face and the ceiling. I had a lot of eyes on me as I took a seat by myself. No one said a thing to me.

The service began, and one thing I have to say is I love the classic southern Baptist preacher. In a stentorian voice calling out things like "WHO WILL BEAR WITNESS!" and the enthusiastic congregation jumping up and waving their arm, the presence of God was palpable. I have to admit that I too "got into it" (no one can resist) and much to my surprise my actions were greeted by smiles. Not smiles of derision, but welcoming smiles. At the iced tea after service (this was New Orleans in late June) I was asked where I was from (Brooklyn CT) and how did I like New Orleans (the heat/humidity is killer on a hangover; again this WAS New Orleans on Sunday morning) but I felt very welcome regardless of any difference between me and the congregation at large.

So I personally hope that all our church members look at the big picture and let life go on, and welcome any new church family members as we always have.

App review - Snapture [ A, G, T]

As part of my 2010 resolutions; I will be parroting my iPhone App reviews posted to iTunes.

I had Snapture back when it was only for jailbroken iPhones (unlocking of underlying file structure). Has a lot of great features, plus the whole screen being the camera trigger is an option way overdue from Apple.

Note to the mouth-breathers who claim the digital-zoom pictures are "blurey" or not sharp, please revise your reviews.

The term "digital zoom" means just that, a static image is enlarged, which enlarges individual pixels which affects image quality in a detrimental way. As opposed to an "optical zoom" which uses "optics" or "lenses" to magnify the image; which remains sharp and detailed. And no amount of post-processing (what you see on CSI notwithstanding) will sharpen a 5x digital zoomed photo to the quality of a Hasselblad with a Leaf digital back, even if you used a Cray XMP or IBM Deep Blue as your host!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone